A Tear in Your Hand
by SorceressKimberly
Summary: My first fic...just read it please.
1. A Tear Is Shed

A Tear in Your Hand

Part 1

He looked over the empty, yet pleasant, field of flowers and waited for more than just the sound of chirping birds and soothing wind. He longed to hear footsteps coming towards him, he yearned to hear the voice of her. He promised her he would meet her here. And usually he was late for events, but not for this. He convinced himself that he couldn't be late because she was too important to keep waiting. How could she be late for something like this? Ironic that he was the one waiting this time.

__

What's keeping you Rinoa?

Where are you?

Suddenly he heard footsteps running towards him

__

Yes! She's here at last!

"Squall! There you are!"

As he turned around smiling, he said, "Where else wou-…oh…. Selphie," he said with disappointment, "It's you."

"Yeah, well, uh, listen. Rinoa needs you." She said out of breath. "I think she's sick or something. She keeps groaning in pain and is calling your name."

"Where is she?"

"Garden Infirmary."

"Take me there."

When he got to the infirmary, he slowly walked up to Rinoa as she lay on the bed still as a calm night. She looked so pale and weak.

"Squall, is that you?" she called out.

"Rinoa, I'm here. What's wrong Rinoa?"

"Squall……"

"Rinoa?" There was not a sound. "Rinoa?"

She said nothing, she just laid there, eyes closed. He pressed his lips to her forehead. She was only slightly warm. A single tear shed from his eye.

__

Not again, please, not again.

**************************

Quistis walked into the room with a smile, but it quickly turned into a saddened, disturbed face. She had come to tell Irvine that she would finally admit to Squall her feelings for him. Irvine and she had become quite close friends over the past few weeks. They were both independent and they kind of understood each other in a weird sort of way. Their friendship just blossomed after the whole ordeal with Ultimecia. He told her about his various flings with all the girls in Garden and she finally confessed her love for Squall.

"I thought it was love, but then I just realized that I just loved him like a brother. I was just a big sister to him anyway." 

"How do you know you are only that to Squall?" Irvine asked, "Maybe, just maybe, you were more than that. Have you ever even thought to ask him?"

"Well, no- but…"

"But what, Quistis?!? What are you going to do, just hide all your true feelings for him? You can't just keep all that inside for the rest of your life." Then he sighed. "At least you have someone you have decided that you love. I just have all these one night stands. I can't seem to get a grasp on 'the one'."

"Irvie….I'm sorry."

"It's alright. But listen, I have to go do some errands to do and I need to talk to Dr. Kadowaki. So meet me in her office in an hour, and we'll continue our chat."

"Sounds like a deal. I'll see you then." 

Irvine kissed her on the cheek and left her dorm.

__

God, what would Squall think if he heard everything I just confessed. Maybe I will tell him. I must go to Irvine later and ask for his guidance on how to go about this. But what about Rinoa? Fuck Rinoa! She's nothing but a selfish brat. "Oh, I'm a sorceress now, protect me Squall." What a whiner.

Quistis decided to go to the library while she waited for the hour to pass. She caught up with a few friends for awhile and read part of the newspaper. She couldn't believe there were still headlines of Sorceress Edea.

__

Damn, these people need to get out more often.

She put down the paper and started to walk toward the infirmary.

__

I can't wait to tell Squall all these bottled up emotions. Irvine will be so proud. I wonder what he'll say to me when I tell him that I'm finally gonna do it.

She walked into the infirmary and saw no sign of Irvine. She peeked into the rest area and saw none other than Squall…..with Rinoa.

__

Damn…he's with her.

**************

"Yippee!!"

"Selphie, I never thought you would be so fun to hang out with." Rinoa giggled. "Oh shit!! I'm supposed to meet Squall at the orphanage in about half an hour. I have nothing to wear and I want to look perfect."

"No problemo," Selphie said, "You can wear that pretty white dress you wore at the SeeD graduation dance. And I know exactly how to do your hair and make up."

"Thanks Selphie."

"Hey, no problem."

So Selphie did her handy work and made Rinoa look perfect. She had never looked so magnificent in so little time. She turned around and faced the mirror to see the results. But all she saw was a puff of white clouds in her reflection. 

"Selphie, what's going on?"

A flash of light entered her eyes. White…pure white…is all she could see.

"Squall…get Squall…I need him."

And she fainted. 


	2. She's Got A Spell On Her

A Tear in Your Hand

Part 2

"Where am I?"

She put her hand over her forehead like a visor so she could see. Pure white was all that was visible. The atmosphere was very cloudy and misty. Suddenly she heard a voice.

__

So you think you know what love is, do you?

"What? Huh? Who's there?"

__

Don't you know where you are, Rinoa?

"Where?"

__

Welcome home.

In a split second Deling City surrounded her. But for some reason it looked like they had stepped back in time. A cloudy figure appeared in front of her.

__

Let me show you something Rinoa.

She was standing outside the Caraway Mansion. She saw a familiar looking woman walk out of the door in a rage. Rinoa called to her, but there was no answer. She just walked past Rinoa without even flinching.

__

She can't see you Rinoa. Just observe.

Suddenly she was inside the mansion in a flash. General Caraway was on the phone. "Make that bitch pay. I just can't take her bullshit anymore. She used to be beautiful and intelligent. She used to have talent. I used to love her, until she did this to me. And to think that song she wrote was about me, or was it even?" He paused. "What do I want you to do? I'll tell you. Make sure she dies. She doesn't know whom she's fucking with. Car accident? Perfect. 1,000,000 gil sound ok? Deal. I'll communicate with you later. Bye." Rinoa started to cry. She had never seen her father like this before.

"Mother."

__

Are you finally starting to realize what's going on?

"But they said it was an accident"

__

Appeared it was. But appearances can be deceiving.

"Why?"

__

Let's go back Rinoa.

Another flash of light hit her. They were in the lounge of the Galbadian Hotel.

"Hey wait. I've seen this before. Mother's playing the piano and Sir Laguna talks to her later in her room."

__

Yes, but watch.

Rinoa looked over in the far back corner.

"Caraway."

__

Yes.

Rinoa walked over to him. He was whispering to himself.

"Julia Heartilly. So beautiful. You were mine at one time and you will be mine again. Who's that goon walking up to her?" He then spoke aloud, "Hey waiter!" 

"Yes Sir?"

"Who is that man?" He pointed to Laguna.

"You should know sir. That's Laguna Loire sir. He's in the Galbadian Army."

"Thank you. You may leave me be now."

"Yes Sir."

Rinoa listened to his whispers again. "If she gets with him, I don't know what I'll do. I'll kill them both."

"NO!!" Rinoa blurted. "I can't take this anymore."

__

Don't wanna see anymore?

"No."

__

Then I'll tell you what happens. When your father saw that Julia was in love with someone else, he made sure that their love would never be. He sent Laguna on a mission where he was sure to die.

"But Laguna is alive."

__

Yes he is. But as far as Caraway knew he was dead. In Winhill for all those years, it didn't matter. As long as he was away from Julia. Julia would be helpless, and who other than Caraway himself would be there to pick up the pieces. He and Julia had a baby together, that is where you come in. Three years later their marriage starts to fall apart. She threatened to take you away from him and so he makes a plan to make sure that would never happen.

"Shut up!! My father had no role in my mother's death. I won't believe it!"

__

Well believe it little girl! Face the fact.

"What does all this have to do with now anyway? Why are you showing me this?"

__

You must do something for me.

"And what is that?"

__

Kill your father Rinoa.


	3. The Kiss of Death

A Tear in Your Hand

Part 3

Irvine quietly snuck up behind Quistis and covered her eyes with his gentle hands. She quickly turned around and gasped.

"Hey Qui-.." "Shhh.." She interrupted and put her finger against his lips to shut him up. Suddenly she couldn't help but cry and placed her head on his shoulder. He looked confused, but said nothing. He placed his hand on her hair and just let her cry. Selphie walked into the room, ignored Quistis and Irvine, and walked directly over to Squall.

"What's the matter with Rinoa?" She asked quietly, as if she was trying not to disturb her slumber. Squall finally let go of Rinoa's hand and spoke. "I think that she's possessed again Selphie. I don't understand. Damn it. Ultimecia's gone…isn't she? We defeated her. I know we did." He said that with question and Selphie didn't really know what to say in response.

"Squall, are you crying?"

"I gotta go. I need to think." He walked out of the enclosed area and spotted Irvine holding the instructor in his arms.

"Quistis, Irvine, what are you doing here?"

"Squall," she sniffled, "there's something that I need to tell you."

"Whatever it is, it can wait." Squall snapped.

"No Squall, it's important. I need to tell you that I-…"

"Am very concerned about Rinoa. We all are." Irvine interrupted.

"Yeah, well, I don't know what to think right now. I need to get away and try to straighten this whole thing out," Squall said. He stood there for a second in thought, glanced over to Quistis, who looked as if she was in a tremendous amount of pain. 

__

I don't have time to deal with her now. I need to get out of here.

And he left.

"Quistis, it's not the right time." Irvine whispered. She took one look at Rinoa, started to cry once more, and walked away. Selphie walked over to Irvine. "What's her problem?"

"Don't worry about it Selphie." Irvine stuttered. "It'll all come out in due time. Just you watch."

****************

"Kill? My father?"

__

Yes.

"But that's my father. I couldn't kill a fly, let alone my dad."

__

Listen, you will do this. I will make sure of it. You want to avenge your mother, don't you?

"Who are you anyway?"

__

My name is not important. Just realize that I have power and lots of it. Tell me something Rinoa, do you love Squall?

"Squall? Well, yes. I do love him."

__

And does he love you?

"What kind of question is that? Of course he loves me."

__

How do you know?

She paused for a minute.

"Umm…"

__

Exactly! You don't know. What has he done for you to let you know that he loves you. He's never said it aloud. He's never said, "Rinoa I love you."

"But he does love me. Why else would he save me in space, and rescue me from the Sorceress memorial? Because we're just friends? I don't think so." 

__

Well, let's say that what happened to your mother, happened to Squall. Would you kill his killer?

"In a heartbeat."

__

Well, this is for your mother, Rinoa. The very person who brought you into this world.

Rinoa thought to herself for a moment. "How could my own father be the one responsible for mother's death? This can't be. I gotta do something about it. But what? Should I listen to her? Should I kill my father for revenge?" Then suddenly she made up her mind.

Rinoa's head jerked as she woke up in the infirmary. There was no one around. 

"Squall, where are you?" She thought to herself. "Oh well, I'll do this on my own. Mother, this is for you."

****************

Quistis walked to her dorm room with a million thoughts in her head. 

__

What do I really feel for him? Do I love him? Is this all real? I walk alone sometimes, just walk for miles and miles, kinda like I am now, thinking a million thoughts through my head. The greater percentage is thinking about him. He is so close, yet so far away. He likes to keep himself so distant from everyone else. I could deal with that. I could live with him knowing that he doesn't always like to express himself. I guess I would have to live without him telling me how he feels. Would that mean that I couldn't tell him what my feelings are?

She sat on her bed, grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and went to work.

__

If I can't tell him my feelings, I'll let him read them.

She wrote something down, looked at her work, and crumpled up the paper.

__

God! How am I supposed to do this? 

She kept this up the whole night. Finally, she had something concrete.

Squall,

I know that this might not be the best time for you to read this, but it's the best time in my life to write it. I want to tell you that I have deep feelings for you beyond what you may have thought. I know I told you about them at the orphanage that one day, but I tried to cover it up by adding the fact that I felt that it was only a sisterly love. I do love you Squall, and I'm only hoping for love in return, from you. Sometimes I just sit away lonely, and feel that I'm missing something in my life. I think that something is you Squall. I'm missing your love. If you could see inside my heart, you would see a vast nothingness, a black hole that needs to be filled. I can't believe how my feelings took over like this. It is so unlike me. But, I'm in need of love, and I know I want it from you Squall. Come to me. Tell me you feel the same way. Please. It is of great importance to me.

Always,

Quistis

There. Her project was complete. She walked over to his dorm room, and slipped the piece of paper under his door. She walked away and hoped for the best.

****************

"Ok, that'll be all for this meeting. You may go now." Four of General Caraway's associates got out of their seats and walked out of the room. Caraway cleared the table off, piled up the stack of papers, and placed them into a folder.

__

I can't be doing this kind of stuff too much longer. Before I know it, I'll be too old to walk, let alone lead an army. I'll probably die of exhaustion one of these days.

Just as he sat down to relax he heard a knock at the door.

__

God, who could it be now? People always have to be bothering me all the damn time.

The door opened slightly, and Rinoa Heartilly peeked her head through.

"Rinoa, dear! I'm so glad to see you. Come in."

Rinoa stepped forward with a disgusted look upon her beautiful face.

"Hello Caraway. Busy lately?"

"Yeah, well. You know how it goes, always-…"

"Enough! I could care less about your issues at the moment. I have more important issues to discuss."

"Rinoa, is something wrong?"

"Wrong? WRONG?!?! I don't think that quite the word of my choice."

"I don't understand."

"Take a look with me." She grabbed his head with her fingers on the sides of his head, while her thumbs covered his eyes. Flashes of images scrolled though his mind. He gasped and she released him.

"What's going on?" He questioned her.

"You killed my mother! How could you? I thought you loved her. How could you do this to me? Killing the mother of a little girl."

"Rinoa, I…"

"Shut up! I don't care to hear your bullshit!"

"This is very unlike you Rinoa."

Rinoa paced back and forth as Caraway sat at his desk. She looked as if she were at a loss of words. She turned and faced him. And evil grin came from her lips as well as an unfamiliar voice.

"Prepare to die General."

Caraway got stiff as a board and couldn't speak. He managed to mutter out a question.

"Who…are…you?"

In a nanosecond, Rinoa dashed over to him, grabbed him by the throat, and looked him straight in the eye.

"Don't you recognize me Caraway? Say hello to the ever-so-powerful, new and improved Sorceress Adel."

"Adel?" He barely stuttered out as he was short of breath.

"Aren't you going to compliment me on my new look? I was thinking suave and innocent looking this time. It's so…me."

She continued to hold him by the neck and picked him up out of his chair. She could feel his fear. It gave her an adrenaline rush that she hadn't felt in what seemed like lifetimes. This awesome burning sensation ran throughout her entire body.

__

I'm getting my power back. About damn time.

Caraway grabbed ahold of her wrist, trying to shake her hand off of him. No use. She threw him against the wall with powerful force. He was like a ragdoll to her. She slowly walked over to his limp body as he was trying to stand up. She took her hand and held him up against the wall, smiled and said, "You still love me now daddy?" 

She punched through his chest and ripped his heart apart from the rest of his body. She stood there for a second as she watched him die. Adel released his body from her hand. Her other hand was holding his heart, dripping with the blood of a once proud General. 

"Oh happy day." She chuckled.


	4. Coming To

A Tear in Your Hand

Part 4

__

I need a drink.

Squall walked into the Balamb pub with the intent to just plain old get smashed and forget everything that was going on at the moment. He sat down at the bar and ordered a vodka tonic to start his night off. Something caught his eye and he glimpsed up at the television hanging from the ceiling.

"A tragic death has occurred today in Deling City. General Caraway, age 47, was brutally murdered in his home at approximately 6 p.m. this evening. No witnesses at the crime scene known as of this moment. Also, no suspects named at this time. The Deling City officials have yet to comment. A funeral service will be held later this week. Tandy Alu reporting for the 10 o'clock news, channel six, KAYT."

__

Caraway. First this thing with Rinoa. Now Caraway's dead?

"Squall? Is that you? Well, I'll be damned!"

Squall turned his head to see a face he hadn't seen in sometime. And who else was right by his side? They were all together- Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin. 

"What do you want Seifer?" Squall asked.

"Well, just to catch up with my good friend." Seifer patted Squall on the shoulder. Squall immediately swatted the unwanted hand off of him.

"I'm not your friend Seifer."

"Touché. What are you doing in a place like this anyway?" asked Seifer.

"That's none of your business."

"That's so like you Squall. So suave and mysterious all the damn time. Lighten up a bit, will ya? I'm just having a little fun. I'm about to go sing karaoke with Zell. You should join us."

Seifer and the gang went off to the other end of the room, just as Zell was walking up to Squall.

"Zell?" Squall pondered. "What the hell are you doing here with him?"

"Don't worry about it Squall. He's in control of himself now. He's not such a bad guy really." Zell assured Squall. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. All I can say is I know that something big is going to happen soon. I can feel it."

"Hey! Did you hear about General Caraway?" Zell asked.

"Yeah. Unfortunate."

"Does Rinoa know? Shouldn't you be with her now to comfort her over her father's death?"

"Rinoa doesn't know." Squall quietly spoke, hanging his head low.

"What!?!?" Zell yelled. "Why the hell not?"

"There's a lot going on right now Zell. Rinoa's in a coma again." And with that Squall got up, placed the money he owed on the bar, and walked out of the pub. Zell kinda shrugged his shoulders and went back to singing with Seifer. He cared about Rinoa, he did, but he knew it wasn't his place to do anything about it. If Squall needed help, then Zell would be there for him.

"C'mon Zell, let's sing something." Seifer yelled across the place.

"¯ ¯ Sometimes I feel I've got to…run away…I've got to…get away…¯ ¯ "

*********************

Squall started a journey from Balamb to Balamb Garden, which was stationed at its home base at the moment. Left foot, right foot, left foot. It wasn't that far of a walk, but time seemed to go by so slowly. He encountered a few monsters on the way, nothing he couldn't handle by himself. For reasons unknown, he wasn't feeling as strong as usual though. There were several forces clouding his mind right now. He wanted to cry, but he wouldn't allow himself to do so. Rinoa, Caraway, comas, possession, Zell, Seifer. Everything was just falling into one big mess. This was all too much to think about.

__

I just need to sleep.

Squall walked to his dorm room, closed his door for some privacy, and noticed an envelope with his name on it. He sat on his bed, removed his boots, and opened the tiny package.

__

A letter? I wonder who it's from.

He read the letter in a matter of minutes. Now was not the right time for this. He had never been so confused in all his life.

Quistis? Why now? What for? Why are you doing this? 

He crumpled up the piece of paper and threw the ball into the wastebasket, laid down, and went to sleep. He would try to resolve all of this in the morning.

*****

A realm of darkness appeared throughout. A small gleam of light appeared in the center of Squall's vision. As the light grew larger, a woman's figure appeared. That woman was Rinoa Heartilly.

"Please, Squall, don't leave me."

"Why would I?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course."

"I love you, too. But there's this feeling inside me that you aren't always going to."

"Why would you feel that way?"

"Things change, and not always for the better."

"My love for you will never change."

"Let's hope so."

"Rinoa?"

"..." She just looked at him with question.

"What's going to happen to you?"

"I'm here Squall. I'll always be here. Remember that." And with that she started to walk away.

"Don't go Rinoa. Please." She turned around to face Squall and smiled. Her mouth opened slightly as if she was going to say something. But she paused and continued to smile. Her face went in and out of focus to Squall, like she was transforming. Squall rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, and when he opened his eyes back up, he saw a little boy. 

__

It's me, when I was young.

"She's in trouble." The child whispered.

"Rinoa? What's happening to her?"

"There is darkness inside her. A vast darkness taking over. Not just Rinoa, but all existence." 

Squall thought for a moment. Is this some kind of game? Is someone toying with his mind? What's going on?

"Rinoa will pull through this. She's a strong girl. There's a light of hope for her."

"If you don't take action fast darkness will rule over all that is living and all that is dead. The undead and the spiritually challenged are all that will abide by their own rules. There will be no ray of light, no light of hope, no hope for anyone. There is only the power of darkness, the power of absolute insanity, the world of hungry beasts, and the land of the dead. When humans think of paradise, they think of this "light" you call hope. But in the real world, paradise is no more than a fantasy, it is only a place that ignorance and stupidity can blind the human mind with. So for now, the human race can be blind, and the advanced can live on the facts that life is not what is expected, it is what is coming."

"What do you want me to do?"

Consciousness. Squall woke up in a cold sweat. What did this all mean? Did this dream mean something? Too much was going on right now. Squall got in the shower. Something was going to happen today, something big. He could sense it in the pit of his stomach.  


  



End file.
